Therapy
by Insane Elvish Vampire Pirate And The Demented Hobbit Ninja
Summary: We all know that the Fire Nation Royal family need some serious help. Though will there therapist make things better or much, much worse. And is this therapist really what she says she is.
1. Planning

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Avatar SO STOP ASKING! Ehm, if I did own Avatar the new episodes would be out already. But sadly they're not.

A/N: We all know that Iroh's family needs therapy. Now they'll finally get it. And I'm sorry if the first chapter sucks. But it will get better I promise.

* * *

Planning

* * *

We start our story in a prison cell in the Palace of Ba Sing Se. Iroh is sitting next to his cellmate discussing his plans to start a chain of tea shops across the Earth Kingdom, once he gets out of the prison that is. The topic of his family somehow comes up and after a while of talking his cellmate gives him some advice…

"You're family needs psychotherapy. No offense."

"None taken." Iroh said, "Though I doubt I could find anyone who would be willing to be our therapist."

"You know I'm a therapist. I could do it."

"Really? Hm, this just might work out." He said with a grin.

"Yah, well I'm sure you're wondering if I can handle it. But don't worry, I can assure you that I am a professional. And I've helped quite a lot of my patients."

"Then why does your resumé say that you've put four people in the hospital, five in a mental institution, three of which had to be put on suicide watch, and ten people have gone missing after only the first week with you." Zuko said, who suddenly popped up out of nowhere.

"Where did you get that?" the therapist asked suspiciously.

"Now Zuko, you shouldn't judge her by her resumé." Iroh scolded.

Zuko gaped at his uncle, wondering if he had just lost his mind.

"What are you trying to catch flies or something?" the therapist asked sarcastically.

"Oh forget it, it's not like you would get Azula or Ozai to agree anyway." He grumbled as he walked off.

"You know he's right." Iroh commented.

"Don't worry, I've got a plan." she said with a grin.

"You're going to drive them all insane aren't you?"

"Definitely."

"Any way I can help?"

"Well, I may need your help to persuade a few people to help me."

"Such as?"

"Will discuss it later. First I need to have a little chat with Azula and Ozai." she said with an evil smile.

"And how do you plan on accomplishing that." Iroh asked skeptically

"Oh, you'll see. You'll see."

* * *

Author: Sorry it's so short, but most of the chapters will be pretty short.

Zuko: Thank Agni.

Author: Oh shutup.

A/N: I'll probably update sometime between tomorrow and this weekend. And this story will get better.

R&R


	2. Session 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar and I never will.

Author: Now this is where the fun begins.

* * *

Session 1

* * *

"Hello my dear friends. How is everyone?" the therapist greeted the family. 

"Great and you?" Iroh asked as he poured himself a cup of Jasmine Tea.

"I'm fine, and everyone else?"

"I was forced to come." Azula and Zuko said in unison.

"And you Ozai?"

"DAD?!" Azula and Zuko shouted in unison, again.

"Will you quit that!"

"STOP IT!"

"WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUTUP!" the therapist shouted angrily.

"Fine." They grumbled then glared at each other.

"…By the way. How did she get you to come here Ozai?" Iroh asked.

"You don't want to know." He muttered.

They all sat there in silence for a few minutes. Iroh was sipping his tea, Azula and Zuko were glaring at each other, Ozai was sitting in his chair muttering something about murdering the therapist, and the therapist was twiddling her thumbs.

"Aren't you suppose to be asking us questions or something like that?" Azula asked, hoping to get this over with quicker.

"Huh… Oh, right… I forgot about that." The therapist said sheepishly.

Everyone gaped at her, except Iroh who chuckled a little then continued sipping his tea.

"Right, so let's start with you Ozai." She said with a grin, causing him to move closer to the corner, "Is it true that you were scared of Zuko and that's why you banished him?"

"WHAT?!" Ozai shouted, melting the chair he was sitting on.

"Sorry, sorry, my bad, my bad. I've just always wondered." She said trying and failing to stop laughing.

"Enough! I did not pay to get ridiculed." Ozai said as he went to walk out the door.

Unfortunately for Ozai, this is my fic and no one gets away that easily. So huge metal doors quickly flew over the regular ones, locking them in.

"You're psychotic aren't you?" Azula asked wondering why they hired her.

"Of course not. Why would you ask?" She said with a big smile plastered on her face.

"Uncle, who is she?" Zuko asked worriedly.

"Oh just a friend… my cellmate…" Iroh said, practically whispering the last part.

"You're what?" Azula asked angrily.

"HEY! Everybody shutup and let's start this session." The therapist shouted.

"Start? You mean it hasn't begun yet?" Ozai said as fire started appearing in his hands.

"Calm down before I drop a bucket of ice water on you. And I'm the one who asks the questions."

"I despise you." He said as the flames disappeared.

"Ah, thanks. Now where were we… Oh, right. So Ozai why is it that you won't except Zuko?"

"Isn't it obvious. He's incompetent, weak, and just plain annoying." He spat.

"Yah, right whatever you say." The therapist said rolling her eyes. "Okay, Zuko how do you feel about this?"

Zuko just glared at her.

"I see… so… Ozai, how do you feel about Zuko dating a waterbender?"

"WHAT!?" Ozai and Zuko shouted in unison.

"Okay, well we'll discuss this next time." She said with a smile as she began scooting towards the door. "BYE NOW!" She shouted as she raced out the door that had magically transformed back into the real ones.

* * *

Author: And that's chapter two for you. See what happens next time when we talk about Zuko's relationships. 

Zuko: WHAT RELATIONSHIPS?! Is something going on that I don't know about?!

Author: Oh hush. And if anyone has any questions you want me to ask them just let me know.

Please

Read

&

Review


	3. Session 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar. Happy now.

Author: Hello! I'm back and I'd like to thanks Chinashima and fourfourfourfour for the reviews.

* * *

Session 2

* * *

"Welcome back!" the therapist said cheerfully as the family took their seats.

"What were you talking about Zuko dating a waterbender?" Ozai asked immediately.

"I am not dating a waterbender!" Zuko shouted angrily.

"Excuse me, I believe I'm the one who asks the questions." The therapist replied.

"Fine." Zuko and Ozai mumbled.

"Good. Okay, so Azula how do you feel about being the Fire Lord's daughter?"

"…What kind of question is that?" Azula asked.

"JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION!"

"Uh… fine… I guess."

"Fine! You feel fine about being the daughter of possibly the most hated man in the world!" the therapist shouted jumping out of her chair.

"HEY!" Ozai shouted, flames appearing in his hands, again.

"What? I'm suppose to ask questions." The therapist answered innocently as she sat back down.

"No, you're suppose to ask questions then listen to what we have to say. Not scream at us every five seconds!" Zuko shouted.

"Man, you guys have anger issues." She said while nodding her head.

"Maybe, everyone should relax and have a nice soothing cup of Ginseng Tea." Iroh offered, finally jumping into the conversation.

"FORGET THE STUPID TEA!" Ozai, Zuko, and Azula all yelled in unison.

"What?" Iroh and the therapist gasped.

"How could anyone forget about tea." Iroh said shocked.

"That's inhumane." The therapist added.

Silence.

"So… any questions?" the therapist asked, changing the subject.

"Yes, why did you say I was dating a waterbender? I don't even know a waterbender!" Zuko asked.

"Really? Well you'll just have to tell that to her." She said pointing to a door that suddenly opened.

In the doorway stood a young teenaged girl dressed in blue, with long brown hair in a braid, and big blue teary eyes.

"How… how could you have forgotten me Zuko." The girl said as tears started to flow down her cheeks.

"Yah, how could you forget poor Katara?" Iroh said accusingly.

"Wait, you're that peasant who travels with the Avatar." Zuko said, jumping out of his chair.

"Ah ha so you do know her!" the therapist shouted pointing at him accusingly.

"YOU'RE DATING THE AVATAR'S WATERBENDING TEACHER?!" Azula and Ozai shouted in shock.

"I AM NOT DATING HER!" Zuko shouted back, which made Katara cry harder.

"Oh forget it." Zuko grumbled as he sat back down. "…Wait a minute. Uncle, how did you know her name?"

"The Avatar told me." He replied nonchalantly.

"Okay well sessions over." The therapist said with a smile as she stood up and brushed some imaginary dust of her pants.

"Oh, that was quick... well, see ya." Azula said as she walked out of the room.

"Bye." Ozai said following Azula.

"But… huh… what? … Oh forget it, I'm leaving." Zuko said then walked out very confused.

"Okay, well bye then." Katara said with a smile as she walked off.

"How did you get her to do that?" Iroh asked suspiciously.

"Oh, it was easy." She said with a smile.

* * *

A few hours earlier

* * *

"I'll give you two hundred gold coins and more of that Spirit Oasis water if you act like you were dating Zuko."

"Sure, why not."

* * *

Author: And that's that.

Iroh: Wanna go get some tea?

Author: Sure. Zuko can finish up.

Zuko: Why?

Author: Cause I said so. walks off with Iroh

Zuko: Fine. Bye

Read

And

Review… I'm leaving now… walks off

Katara: Well that sucked… uhm… BYE EVERYONE! COOKIES FOR THOSE WHO REVIEW!

Azula: Is she really a therapist?

Katara: Who knows… Wanna go get some tea with her and Iroh?

Azula: Sure, sounds good. leaves with Katara

Ozai: Hello… HELLO… I guess I'm alone… I'm gonna go burn something… walks off

Author: pops up Once again READ AND REVIEW FOR COOKIES!!! disappears


	4. Session 3

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar!

Author: I AM SO SORRY! I meant to update a couple of days ago but I was so busy all weekend and well I'M SORRY! I don't deserve to live I'm an embarrassment I'M SORRY! -freaks out-

Aang: Well I guess since she's having a spazz attack I'll take over! Finally I get to be in it!

Zuko: Just at the beginning, the beginning is never important.

Aang: SHUTUP!

Toph: On with the story!

Aang: That's my line!

* * *

Session 3

* * *

"…Are we early?" Zuko asked as he sat in a room with Ozai and Azula. 

"I don't think so, I just checked the time." Azula said sitting in her chair completely and utterly bored out of her mind.

"…This is getting ridicules." Ozai grumbled from his spot in the corner, which he took after he realized the therapist was completely insane… which was during the first session.

"Why do we keep coming here?" Azula asked, "We all know this therapist is insane."

"Yah, why are we here?" Zuko added.

"Because I said so." Ozai replied.

"What did she do to you?" Azula asked, wondering what could've scared her father, the most feared man in the world to do this.

Ozai just replied with a cold stare.

"Okay then." Azula said looking around the room.

"…Anyone else notice how she doesn't ask Uncle Iroh any questions?" Zuko wondered out loud.

"Yah, she doesn't does she… you think her and uncle are up to something?" Azula asked.

"Hi guys, you're early." The therapist said as she walked in with Iroh right behind her.

"Speak of the devil." Ozai muttered.

"Early?" Zuko asked.

"Yah, I told you we were starting ten minutes late today." She said.

"No you didn't."

"Oh, I didn't? My bad… oh well. Let's get started then."

"Good, I want to get this over with as soon as possible." Ozai said, very annoyed.

"Okay, well first question goes to… hm…" The therapist said thinking of who to pick.

"How about uncle?" Zuko offered.

"Uh… sure I guess. So Iroh, how come you drink so much tea?" she asked.

"WHAT?!" Ozai, Zuko, and Azula all yelled in unison, jumping out of their chairs.

"What? I'm asking the questions so back off." She said, so they all sat back down grumbling. "Well Iroh?"

"Hm… I'd have to say it started way back when I was a boy…"

* * *

Twenty minutes later

* * *

"… So basically I drink so much tea because it's delicious." Iroh finished with a smile. 

"Fascinating, I loved the part with the pirates." The therapist said intrigued.

Ozai, Azula, and Zuko on the other hand were all asleep.

"Well that's just rude, should we wake them up?" she asked looking over at Iroh.

"No we'll let them sleep." Iroh said with a smile, "Meanwhile, we can go out for some tea."

"Sounds good to me." She said as she grabbed her jacket and headed out the door with Iroh.

* * *

Author: Kinda short I know. I'll try and update sooner next time. 

Momo: Bye and remember READ AND REVIEW FOR COOKIES!

Author: Oh my goodness! A talking lemur. -faints-

Momo: Uh… YOU SAW NOTHING! -flies away-

Ty Lee: Uhm… well Momo ran off and the Author is unconscious so I guess we'll just finish… uh… Bye read and review for cookies.


	5. Tea Time

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar, so Chinashima you need to stop bugging me about it!

Author: Thanks to all my readers and lots of thanks, and cookies, to my reviewers. Oh, and this isn't a session, I just needed to throw in something different.

Mai: Why did you drag me here again?

Author: …I don't know… well as long as you're here you can start the story.

Mai: Fine… On with the story… I'm going now –leaves-

Author: Isn't she so nice.

* * *

Tea Time

* * *

"Are you sure we should've just left them sleeping in there?" The therapist asked as Iroh and her rode through the market of some unknown town. 

"Stop stressing about it. You just gotta chill." Iroh said in a very unIroh-like manner.

"…Fine… Are you sure you know where this tea shop is?" she asked as she looked around the busy market.

"Of course, I can find a tea shop in any town."

"…So you're saying that you're not even sure if there is a tea shop here?"

"Of course there is! How else would I have this coupon for the tea shop in the unknown town."

"…I don't know… But, I guess it makes as much since as anything else around here."

CRASH

"REVENGE!"

"…Did that man just throw a cabbage at that kid with the arrow on his head then run off laughing maniacally?"

"Odd…"

They continued driving down the street for a while until the got a flat tire. How did they get a flat on whatever they were driving you may ask? …Well… I'm still working that part out, but let's just get on with it.

"Oh, that's just lovely! It figures we'd get a flat here! Now we have to walk to this tea shop that we're not even sure exists!" The therapist shouted as she kicked the tire.

"My, my, you have a short temper." Said a jolly little voice from behind her.

"DUDE! It's midget!" Iroh shouted as he stared down at the odd looking… person…

"Excuse me! I prefer the term vertically challenged." The midget said angrily.

"Sorry."

"Well I don't care what you are, if you can help me fix this flat then I won't stop you." The therapist said looking through the trunk of the unknown thing that they were driving to see if they had a spare.

"I will under one condition." The little midget thing said.

"And what would that be?" She asked suspiciously.

"I need you're help to get three lucky coins back."

"Are you a leprechaun?" Iroh asked suddenly.

"No…"

"Iroh! Hush. So where is it that we can find these lucky coins of yours?" the therapist asked.

"You have to beat them." The 'leprechaun' said as he pointed over at three people sitting at a table… eating cookies.

"WHAT?! You mean we have to beat tigersmt.334 X Assasin's core, fourfourfourfour, and … well Chinashima is kinda weak but still." The therapist gasped. (A/N: Don't worry I know Chinashima I'm aloud to make fun of him.)

"WAIT! You didn't let me finish… you must beat them… at a… COOKIE EATING CONTEST!" he shouted dramatically.

"…Oh well that'll be easy. Iroh you take tigersmt.334 X Assasin's core and fourfourfourfour and I'll take Chinashima."

"You got it."

* * *

Five minutes later

* * *

"Well that was easy." The therapist said as she handed the leprechaun the coins. 

"How did you beat Chinashima so fast?" Iroh asked.

"Oh, I just kept kicking him until he gave it to me." She said with a smile.

"I see."

"How did you beat tigersmt.334 X Assasin's core and fourfourfourfour?"

"Oh it was simple." Iroh said with an evil grin.

"Okay then… So, you gonna help us with the flat tire or what?"

"Who said I was going to help you?"

"WHAT?!" They both shouted in unison.

"Hey look!" Iroh said pointing at the building behind tigersmt.334 X Assasin's core, fourfourfourfour, and Chinashima. "It's the tea shop."

"Perfect." The therapist said as she snatched the coins from the leprechaun thing and went in with Iroh and bought delicious tea and cookies for her, Iroh, and her three new friends, and a doughnut for Chinashima to apologize for kicking him.

* * *

Author: Well that's the end of that. I got bored so I added my reviewers into the story. I hope you don't mind. And if you do I'm sorry. 

Chinashima: That still hurt when you were kicking me.

Author: Shutup and go practice your karate or whatever it is you do.

Chinashima: Fine! –leaves-

Author: Well bye READ AND REVIEW FOR COOKIES!

Sokka: Yes, please review or she might try and kill as all… again.

Author: HEY! Who said you could be in here?

Sokka: … Uhm… AZULA –points then runs the other direction-

Author: … Whatever –walks away-

READ

AND

REVIEW!

Next time: Zuko's many relationships. Why does he have so many girls who like him yet he can't get a girlfriend? And what about Azula? Does anyone really care about her?


	6. Session 4

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar. No matter how fun it would be.

Author: Hello, I'm back! I'm not dead. Thanks to everyone who reviewed! And sorry I haven't updated in a while.

Zuko: Can we start the story already.

Author: Okay…

Zuko: Fine… on with the story.

Author: Thank you.

* * *

Session 4

* * *

"What did I say we were going to talk about today?" the therapist asked.

"I don't remember we haven't been here in so long." Iroh said rubbing his chin.

"Yes." Zuko and Azula said under their breath.

"Wasn't it about Zuko and Azula?" Ozai asked.

"Oh yeah, it was, wasn't it." She said with a grin.

"NO! I think it was about… uhm… uh… Leprechauns." Zuko said.

"… Shutup Zuko."

"Fine." He grumbled.

"Okay, so Zuko, how come none of your relationships ever work out?"

"Excuse me."

"You know what I'm talking about. What happened with Jin? You seemed to like her."

"Jin?" Ozai asked looking over at Zuko.

"I don't know what she's talking about." Zuko lied, badly.

"Don't you remember Zuko? She was that lovely girl that you went on a date with in Ba Sing Se."

"Date?" Azula asked with a grin.

"Didn't you say you wanted to ask Azula about something?" Zuko asked, trying to change the subject.

"I did? … Oh yeah, I did didn't I." The therapist said.

"No you didn't." Azula blurted out.

"Yeah, I think I did." She said with a grin.

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"No, you didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"ENOUGH!" Ozai shouted fire flying everywhere.

"Sorry." They both mumbled.

"So what was it you were going to ask?" Iroh asked.

"…I forgot…"

"Yes." Azula cheered.

"Oh yah, Azula does anyone really care about you?"

"WHAT?!" She shouted, blue fire appearing in her hands.

"I'm just saying, you just scare everyone. No one really seems to care about you." The therapist shrugged.

"I think we better end this before you end up a pile of ashes." Iroh suggested as Azula began to advance.

"Uhm… okay. But you do realize you're just proving my point."

"WHAT?!" She screamed as she shot a blast of fire at her.

"SESSION OVER!" She shouted as she ran out of the room.

* * *

Author: Sorry it's short but I've been busy… doing stuff.

Zuko: You mean sleeping and watching Lost.

Author: … Yes…

Iroh: PLEASE READ AND REVIEW FOR COOKIES!!!!!!


	7. Session 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar. DEAL WITH IT!!

Author: Sorry I haven't updated for so long. I'm in the middle of moving, so I don't have time to do anything.

Azula: Just start the story.

Author: … You're still mad at me aren't you.

-lightning bolt almost strikes the author-

Author: …Okay… So who wants to start the story?

Ty Lee: On with the story!

* * *

Session 5

* * *

"Hi everyone!" The therapist said with a smile as she walked in and sat down.

"You're late again." Zuko pointed out.

"Shutup. So how is everyone?" She asked.

"Okay, considering I'm being held here against my will." Ozai said glaring at the therapist.

"Meh." Zuko mumbled.

"I'm pretty good. I had a nice cup of tea before coming." Iroh said with a smile.

"Ah, I had a fresh baked cookie before coming. It was delicious." The therapist replied.

"And you didn't bring me one?" Iroh asked, looking insulted. "I see how it is."

"What kind of fruit would you describe yourself as?" The therapist suddenly asked looking at Ozai

"Say what?" Ozai looking around confused.

"Stop dilly-dallying and answer." She shouted.

"…Uhm… How should I know?"

"I say a watermelon. Cause you're hard on the outside and soft and wet on the inside."

"…Are you feeling okay?" Azula asked as she backed away slowly.

"And you, Azula, are a lemon. Cause you're sour."

"I am not!"

"And Iroh's a strawberry. Cause he's sweet."

"Let's back away slowly." Zuko whispered.

"And Zuko… well I'm not sure what you are… If anyone knows what he is please tell me!" She suddenly shouted.

"RUN!" Ozai said before running out the door, followed by Zuko, Azula, and Iroh.

**"HEY! I'M NOT DONE YET!!"** She shouted as she chased after them.

* * *

Two minutes later

* * *

"Now what am I suppose to do for fun." The therapist complained as she wandered down a random hallway in some random building in some random town in some random country on some random world.

"Oh, you'll see them again tomorrow." A figure next to her said with a smile.

"Yeah… I guess I should've taken my medication before going to see them today."

"Eh, these things happen."

"Yeah… I'm gonna go get some tea. Maybe I'll find Iroh."

"Okay. See yah later."

"Bye!"

* * *

Narrator: What will happen next time? Who is that stranger she was talking to? And will she ever remember to take her medication? Who knows? Not me.

Author: See I went all out. I even hired a Narrator. Sorry the chapter was short.

Narrator: You owe me 50 bucks.

Author: I told you I would pay later. So yah, sorry for taking so long. I HATE MOVING!! I won't be online for about a week so I decided to update. Sorry it's kind of pathetic, but hey I'm running out of stuff to say. I NEED NEW EPISODES!!

Ty Lee: Sorry she's suffering form Avatar Withdrawal Syndrome.

Author: I AM NOT!! Well if anyone has any ideas I'd love to hear them. Really, I would, I need help.

Ty Lee: I'm just going to end this before you start begging.

Author: PLEASE!!

Azula: Pathetic.

Mai: Read

Azula: And

Ty Lee: Review

Toph: OR ELSE NO COOKIES FOR YOU!!!!!!


	8. To Catch a Therapist

Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar. Because if I did the 3rd season would be out already and Zuko would go mad because he betrayed Iroh. 

Author: Sorry it's the end of the school year so tests! Tests! AND MORE STUPID TESTS!!

Toph: Great now the authors lost it.

Author: Shutup. I just hate the end of the school year.

Zuko: Doesn't that mean summer is coming soon.

Author:... YES!! YAH!! Happy dance! Yah! HAPPY DANCE!! -dances-

Azula: ... Let's start this story before we all lose it.

Author: Okay. AND this chapter is a little different. Oh and according to fourfourfourfour Zuko is a banana with a mustache.

* * *

To Catch a Therapist

* * *

"This is getting out of control. We need to capture her before anything else goes wrong." A tall dark figure said.

"We need to figure out a way to catch her first." Said a shorter dark figure.

"Which is easier said than done." A short fat man said as he walked through the door and flipped the lights on.

"Darn it Wayne. You ruined the dark and mysterious vibe." The taller one yelled.

"Sorry Victor... Well I brought the doughnuts." He said with a smile.

"DOUGHNUTS!!" They both shouted and ran over to them.

But before they could get the doughnuts some Asian kid appeared and took them, flipped Victor over and ran out of the room.

"Jerry! You let him get the doughnuts!" Victor shouted.

"That was Wayne's fault!"

"Shutup all of you!" A man yelled as he walked in.

"Boss-dude! What are you doing here?" Jerry asked.

"You three are to incompetent to catch the therapist. So I came to help."

"Technically, she isn't a therapist she's a-"

"HUSH! I know what she is! And there's only one way to catch that type of person... The CFELWCEC!!"

-DRAMATIC MUSIC-

"The Club For Elderly Ladies Who Can't Eat Coconuts." Victor asked.

"No, the Crazy Freaky Elementary Little Weirdos With Conniving Evil Cucumbers."

"NO! NOT THEM!" Wayne gasped.

"Yes."

"That's crazy talk." Jerry said in a state of shock.

"They'll get her. Trust me." Boss-dude said with an evil grin.

* * *

Later that day

* * *

"STOP FREAKING OUT WOMAN!" tigersmt.334 X Assasin's core shouted. 

"Shutup. Tiger." The therapist said as she continued looking around.

"Tiger?"

"YOU'RE NAMES TO LONG!"

"HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR NAME!!"

"Atleast I don't use my name in the story."

"...Shutup. It's your fault."

"Be quiet you big baby. Or no more cookies."

"Curse you." Tiger said before running off.

"I always win." She said with a triumphant grin... "I KNOW YOU'RE OUT THERE WHOEVER IT IS WHO'S FOLLOWING ME!!"

"Calm down." fourfourfourfour said walking up next to the therapist.

"I can't help it! I know someone's following me. AND WHY DO MY REVIEWERS KEEP SHOWING UP!!"

"How should I know."

"...go away."

"Fine whatever."

* * *

An hour and a few reviewers later

* * *

"Do you think she forgot about us." Zuko asked looking over at Iroh. 

"Possibly." Iroh said as he looked around.

"She is crazy." Ozai said.

"Good point." Azula said.

* * *

Narrator: What is the therapist really? Why is she going so crazy? Does she really know who's chasing her. And who are the CFELWCEC? Find out next time. 

Author: I know it's not my best work, but come on school is sucking my brain out.

Ty Lee: That is true.

Author: Thank you.

Zuko: Well let's just end this and go home.

Author: Fine.

Hue: Read

Kuei(Earth King): And

Hahn: REVIEW!!

Author: WHAT IS HAHN DOING HERE!!?!?! You all know there is a strict "NO PEOPLE I HATE ALLOWED" rule!

Mai: Sorry, my bad. -throws Hahn out-

Author: Thank you.

Ty Lee: READ AND REVIEW FOR COOKIES!!!!


	9. Session 6 I think

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN AVATAR!!

Author: I'M ON SUMMER BREAK!! –dances- Today was my last day of school! YAY! I'm home-schooled so I just had to finish my Math test and I did! WOOT! –dances-

Ty Lee: Is she feeling okay.

Azula: Is she ever feeling okay?

Ty Lee: Good point.

Katara: Should we start the story.

Toph: Shouldn't we wait for the author.

Azula: We would, but she's happy dancing around the room. –points to author dancing around-

Sokka: ON WITH THE STORY!!

Katara: Hey! That was my job!

Sokka: TOO BAD!

* * *

Session 6 … I think

* * *

"Hey guys! Sorry I'm late." The therapist said perkier than usual. 

"You're three hours late." Azula said angrily.

"Then why didn't you leave?" She asked looking at them as if it was the most obvious thing on the planet.

"Uhm… There hasn't been much stuff to do lately." Ozai answered, "Which is really weird."

"Yah… Anyone else feel like we're being watched?" The therapist said as she looked around cautiously.

"No… Why?" Azula asked suspiciously.

"No reason." She replied, "Just wondering… just wondering."

"Uhm… Okay then." Iroh said looking around awkwardly as silence filled the room.

"OH MY GOSH WE JUST HAD A SERIOUSISH MOMENT!!!" The therapist shouted as she jumped out of her chair excitedly.

"What?" Ozai asked looking at her.

"Uh… Nothing." She said squeakishly as she sat back down.

"How was that a serious moment?" Zuko whispered to Azula.

"I don't know." She whispered back, slightly freaked out.

"So what now?" Ozai asked boredly.

"I DON'T CARE! AND why do you always sound so bored?! IT ANNOYS ME!!" The therapist shouted as everyone went silent. "Chew on that!!"

Everyone just sat there for a few minutes staring at her glare at Ozai. Zuko and Azula were backing away slowly, Iroh was, what else, drinking tea, and Ozai just stared back at the therapist, completely freaked out.

"Uhm… Sorry about that…Who wants to go out for some air?" She said with a smile.

"Uh…sure." Azula said, with a fake smile on her face.

"Okay let's go." She said jumping up and walking out of the room, followed by Ozai, Zuko, Azula, and Iroh.

* * *

Five minutes later

* * *

"This is nice." Iroh said happily. 

"Okay, we'll keep falling behind until we can get away from her." Azula whispered to Ozai and Zuko.

"What about Uncle?" Zuko asked.

"This was his idea, he has to deal with the consequences." Ozai answered.

"Whatcha guys talkin' about?" the therapist asked, as she stopped in front of them.

"Nothing." They all replied in unison.

"You weren't planning on leaving me were you." She asked suspiciously.

"No, of course not! Why would you think that?" Ozai said with a fake smile.

"Yah, that's just silly." Zuko said, also with a fake smile.

"Yeah, just crazy." Azula said with another, what a surprise, fake smile.

"Fine, but I'm watching you." She said as she began backing away slowly, than turned around and walked off.

"Okay, so now what?" Ozai said looking at Azula.

"What? How come I always have to come up with the ideas." Azula asked.

"Because you're really good at coming up with plans. And your brother is a complete and total idiot that I don't trust with my life, or anyone else's life for that matter." Ozai answered.

"Oh yeah. I forgot." She smiled.

"Thanks dad." Zuko said sarcastically.

"No problem son." Ozai said with a smile.

"…So what's the plan?" Zuko asked.

"Shutup Zuzu, I'm thinking." Azula shouted as she flicked him in the forehead.

* * *

"Are you sure this is going to work?" Zuko asked looking at Azula. 

"You've got a better idea?" The Fire Princess asked.

"She's coming." Ozai said frantically.

"Dad? Are you feeling okay?" Zuko asked backing away a little.

"No, I am not." Ozai replied.

"Okay… I think she's getting to him." Azula whispered to Zuko.

"Let's go back home." The therapist said as she walked over to the three.

"Okay." They all said in unison and began following her and Iroh, who was, guess what, drinking tea!

* * *

Narrator: Why is Ozai acting so strange? How long will this story last? Will the author ever actually remember to update more often? Doubt it! 

Author: That's so mean… -cries- Oh and sorry it's so short, I have writers block. Without school my brain is fried... which is weird... IT TOOK ME TWO WEEKS TO WRITE THIS!! So I've been on Summer break for 2 weeks. SORRY!!

Zuko: Whatever, no one cares.

Azula: Zuko, that's so cruel… I'm so proud!

Toph: Everyone's acting crazy today aren't they?

Sokka: Yes, yes they are.

Ty Lee: Read

Jin: And

Song: REVIEW!!

Shyu: OR NO COOKIES!!

Author: … What's Shyu, the Fire Sage, doing here?

Katara: You invited him.

Author: Oh yah… READ AND REVIEW!! There's cookies involved!


	10. Session 7 Weirder and Weirder

Disclaimer: I don't own pie. I have cookies though. I made them… They were delicious.

Author: First off I'd like to thank all of my wonderful reviewers, why you're reading my story I don't know. It's such a crack fic I though no one would even look twice at it. But you guys did! So that makes me happy!

Azula: Is she going to start naming off the reviewers.

Toph: Looks like it…

Both: Crap.

Author: First I'd like to thank Chinashima/Mr Wu/Da Chinese Chicken/yay. Which is all one person. A friend of mine that I actually know, we mostly just IM though, since school is over. I forced him to read the story and for some reason he likes it… Weird isn't it? Or is he just scared I'll hurt him… Eh!

And fourfourfourfour, you seem to be the only sane person who reads my story, sort of. Now that's just weird! And yes, I do know when Iroh will crack, it will be Hilarious!

And tigersmt.334 X Assasin's core. You're name is so weird and confusing… I LOVE IT! And yes, you will get all the cookies your little heart desires.

And The Almighty Black Death. Yes, the story scares me too.

Toph: We don't have time for you to thank all of your reviewers!

Author: Not all just the people who reviewed the last few chapters.

Azula: Thank God!

Momo: (In lemur language) ON WITH THE STORY!!

Everyone: … What?!

Mai: ON WITH THE STORY!!

* * *

Session 7

It just keeps getting weirder and weirder.

* * *

"Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are! Up above the sky, so high. Like a diamond in the sky. Twinkle, twinkle, little star. How I wonder what you are."

"Why are you singing?" Azula asked staring at the therapist.

"… Cause I can."

"Isn't it obvious." Zuko whispered to Azula. "She's insane."

"Oh yeah."

"You're just jealous because I can sing better than you." The therapist said triumphantly.

"Oh yeah!" Iroh said standing up. "I can do this."

Iroh then proceeded to pour some cold tea into a cup, set it down, then stared at it. And before long steam began to rise from the cup. So Iroh picked up the cup and smiled happily, then to our surprise ((couchsarcasmcough)) he drank the tea.

"What's that have to do with anything?" Zuko and Azula asked in unison.

"No, no. He's got a point." Ozai said nodding his head.

"Too true." The therapist replied.

"…You ever get the feeling that we're the only sane ones in the room?" Zuko asked Azula.

"I know what you mean bro. I know what you mean." Azula said staring at Ozai as if he grew and extra head. (( I mean come on. We all know the therapist was crazy, and Iroh was slowly growing weirder. But Ozai! No one expected that…. Or did they!))

Everyone sat there a few seconds in silence. Azula was still staring at Ozai, Iroh was drinking tea, obviously, Zuko was seeing how long Azula would stare at Iroh before exploding, or getting bored, and the therapist was humming the tune in "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" or was that "Jeopardy." ((I don't care.))

"Okay, these awkward silences keep getting weirder and weirder." Iroh finally said, breaking the silence.

"Yeah, they really are." Zuko nodded.

"Too true." Ozai nodded.

"… Okay, am I the only sane one left?" Azula asked looking around at her family.

"What are you talking about." The therapist asked.

"Our family never agrees. ON ANYTHING!! No matter how true it may be!" Azula shouted jumping out of her chair.

"Your point."

"MY POINT IS THAT MY FAMILY HAS ALL LOST IT!!"

"Why? Is everyone agreeing such a bad thing?"

"Well, no. But it's just weird."

"When isn't it weird?" Zuko asked.

"… I think I'm losing it." Azula said falling back into her chair.

"No, you've always been crazy." Iroh said looking over at her then taking a sip of tea.

"Well atleast some things never change." She said looking over at Iroh.

"GUESS WHAT?!" Ozai suddenly shouted.

"CHICKEN BUTT!!" The therapist shouted back.

"…Uh… no."

"Ah…"

"…Well… as I was saying. WE'RE THROWING A PARTY ON Tuesday!"

"REALLY!!" Azula shouted excitedly, as she jumped up from her seat again.

"Why?" Zuko asked.

"Because I can. I'm inviting everyone! I have a big announcement to make." He said happily.

"Did you discover a new type of tea!" Iroh asked with a smile.

"…No… You'll see on Tuesday."

"Tomorrow's Tuesday." Zuko pointed out.

"…Well then you'll see tomorrow."

"PARTY!!" The therapist shouted as she jumped up and ran out of the room.

"I take it that the session's over?" Azula said as she walked out of the room.

"Yep." Zuko said as he followed her.

"Okay, we're alone. Now tell me the secret." Iroh pleaded.

"…Okay fine… the secret is…"

* * *

Author: DUN DUN DUN!! CLIFFHANGER!! Sort of… And yes it's short, sorry.

Zuko: So what's the secret?

Author: Something that will change the world as we know it.

Zuko: Really?

Author: Yes, either that or get my reviewers to run for the hills.

Azula: I'm surprised they haven't already.

Author: God bless them.

Ty Lee: I bet they just take pitty on you.

Mai: No, I'm sure some of them like it.

Author: … I thought Ty Lee was the perky one and Mai was the boring one?

Toph: You're story.

Author: Good point. Next chapter will be fun. BIG PARTY!! Big secret! Tons of guests. SO MUCH FUN!! And seeing as though this is me, the secret will be insane, or stupid. OR NORMAL!!

-All laugh-

Author: Yeah, that was funny.

Jin: READ

Song: AND

Mai: REVIEW!!

Katara: OR NO COOKIES!!


	11. Party part 1

Disclaimer: No, I sadly don't own the banana cream pie.

Author: OH MY GOSH I'M SO HAPPY!! My bestest friend in the whole world reviewed my story! My friend, kris the ninja pirate, is the most insane and craziest person I know(You know it's true DON'T DENY IT!!), but I am crazy and insane too, so it all works out.

Zuko: Didn't she say your story sucked.

Author: Oh, she didn't mean it… Actually she probably did, she doesn't like Avatar. How on earth did you read all ten chapters of this story Krissy? Oh well. See ya slim.

Zuko: Are all of your friends insane?

Author: Shutup Prince Squinty.

Zuko: WHAT?!

Author: SHUTUP!! Azula can you lock him in the bathroom.

Azula: No problem. –locks Zuko in bathroom-

Author: YAY! Well now it's time for one of the most stupidest chapters yet… Maybe. But it will be stupid.

Ty Lee: Like they always are.

Author: Yes.

Azula: Okay, on with the story.

* * *

Party Time part 1

* * *

"This party needs banana cream pie." The therapist said as her hands started shaking.

"Why?" Zuko asked.

"Because I want to throw one at your face… I thought Azula locked you in the bathroom?"

"I burned the door down."

"You suck in life."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"Why?"

"Because everything I say is true."

"Why?"

"SHUTUP PRINCE SQUINTY!!"

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

"I'll stop calling you that the day Kai becomes ugly." She said sticking her tongue out.

"Who?"

"You know, Kai, from Beyblade. The most sexiest anime guy in the universe."

"Krissy is making you say this isn't she?"

"AZULA LOCK HIM IN THE BATHROOM AGAIN!! And guard the door."

"No problem." Azula said popping up, then she hit Zuko with a hammer and dragged him off.

"You enjoy that don't you." Ozai asked.

"Very much." She replied, then walked away.

* * *

Ten minutes later

* * *

"Anyone know where that one crazy chic went?" tigersmt.334 X Assasin's core asked.

"No, she disappeared a few minutes ago." Fourfourfourfour replied.

"…Should we fear for our lives?" The All Mighty Black Death asked.

"Maybe. Who knows?" FireNutZuko said looking around.

"…Why were we invited here again?" Man I'm like bored and stuff asked.

"I'm bored. I'm going to run around doing flips and kicks." Chinashima said, then ran off. ((You know you would do that.))

"…All of her reviewers in the same chapter… Something weird is going on." Zuko, who somehow got out of the bathroom, said.

"Definantly."

"… WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?!?" Zuko shouted.

"I was invited." Toph replied. "All of us were."

"All of you…"

Zuko looked around the room to see the Aang Gang, the Earth King, King Bumi, Chief Arnook, a bunch of other Earth Kingdom people, and Water Tribe people, and of course some Fire Nation people.

"…Are those hippies." Zuko asked pointing over to a group of people playing instruments and singing and dancing.

"Of course. What would a party be without hippies?" Azula said as if it was the most obvious thing in the universe.

"That's stupid."

"Zuko you're boring." Ty Lee said as she hit him with Sokka's boomerang.

"Hey, that's mine." Sokka said as he took his boomerang from Ty Lee.

"Whatever you say." Ty Lee giggled.

"…I'm going to run screaming now." He said, then proceed to do so.

"EVERYBODY RUN!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!" Chinashima suddenly shouted as he ran around the room.

"What happened now?" Azula asked.

"I spilled Iroh's tea."

"Run, now."

So then everything turned into pure choas and Iroh started blowing things up.

* * *

Later

* * *

"All those poor hippies." Ty Lee said walking around the room in shock.

"Oh who cares. They were annoying." Sokka said rolling his eyes.

"That's just mean." Toph said as she punched Sokka in the arm.

"…How did she reach his shoulder, she's so short." Azula whispered to Mai.

"Who knows." Mai said staring at the little blind midget.((I'm so mean.))

"I got a fish." Katara said running into the room with a little bag with a fish in it.

"Wow Katara. Where did you get that." Aang asked, mesmerized by the little fish.

"At the carnival outside."

"Cool. I wanna see." Aang said as he ran out of the room.

"There's a carnival outside?" Sokka asked.

"No."

"Then why did you… Oh forget it."

* * *

Later that day

* * *

"THE STUPID HIPPIES GHOSTS ARE FOLLOWING ME!!" Sokka wined for about the one thousandth time that day.

"Okay Sokka, shutup before I throw a banana cream pie at your face." Fourfourfourfour said angrily.

"BUT-" Sokka was cut short by a banana cream pie that was suddenly shoved in his face.

"Nice work." Mai said with a grin.

"Ah, I wanted to hit him with this hammer." Katara said looking over at Sokka as he ran into a pole. ((Why? I DON'T KNOW))

"I haven't seen that therapist chic all day. Something's going on." tigersmt.334 X Assasin's core said.

"Yeah, I think we already established that." FireNutZuko said.

* * *

Author: MUHAHAHAHA!! What will happen in part 2! WHO KNOWS?! Who cares! Not me.

Azula: You're insane aren't you.

Author: Did you just realize that.

Azula: No. I'm just bored.

Author: Me too. Where's everyone else.

Azula: I don't know.

Author: Only one thing to do now.

Azula: READ

Author: AND

Azula: REVIEW!!

Author: OR DIE!!

Azula: … She means or no cookies.

Author: Uh… sure.


	12. Intermission

Disclaimer: No, I don't own the moon, or the dish and the spoon.

Author: MUHAHAHAHA!! No part two yet. Intermission first. MUHAHAHAHA!!

Ozai: Should we just start the story. Seeing as though I don't think she's going to stop laughing any time soon.

Ty Lee: Why not.

Autor: I GOT 60 REVIEWS!! I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!! –head explodes-

Ozai: … Oh well, she'll be back later.

Ty Lee: ON WITH THE STORY!!

Author: Shortish chapter by the way. Sorry, not as crazy as it usually is. But necessary, and fun.

* * *

Intermission:

Insanity at Wal-Mart and Teriyaki

* * *

"Why am I here again?" Jeong Jeong asked as he walked along with the therapist and Krissy.

"You're here because you were wandering around doing nothing." The therapist replied.

"That doesn't explain anything."

"It explains everything."

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes, it does."

"No, it doesn't."

"Yes, it does."

"WILL YOU TWO SHUTUP ALREADY!!" Kris shouted, startling both of them.

"That was very loud." Jeong Jeong said glaring at Kris.

"Yes, but you're stupid and annoying. So just shutup and listen to Teriyaki."

"Teri…yaki…"

"I can't explain it either. She's just weird." The therapist said. ((I was annoyed and wanted to give her a name, but I couldn't come up with one… I unfortunately asked my friend. And well it was either that or Scruffy Ambrosius macaroon the 14th.))

"So why are we here again?" Jeong Jeong asked.

"Buying stuff. DUH!" Teriyaki shouted.

"What else would you do at Wal-mart?" Krissy said rolling her eyes.

"Sit around and do nothing?"

"I DON'T THINK SO!"

"What a spazz."

"Yeah."

"…Can we just go?" Jeong Jeong asked, clearly annoyed.

"… You're boring." The therapist said glaring at him.

* * *

5 minutes later

* * *

"WHY?! WHY?! IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!!" The therapist shouted as she fell to the floor screaming.

"It's okay, it's okay. Just calm down."

((That really did happen in Wal-mart too, except my sister was on the floor and she didn't say that exactly, I can't really remember, Krissy was the one saying "It's okay" though. I was standing to the side laughing as people stared.))

"Could you get up, people are staring." Jeong Jeong said annoyed.

"… You're no fun." They both said as they got up and walked off.

So they proceeded to buy a bunch of sugary treats that were guaranteed to destroy their teeth.((TO LATE MINE ARE ALREADY DESTROYED!! Really they are. I have fillings on almost all of my teeth.)) Then they went across the street and got some lightly coffee-flavored beverages, then headed back to Wal-Mart for more fun. And insanity, of course.

"Hey look, Pecan Pie." Krissy said with an evil grin.

"Oh, fun. I'm gonna buy some Banana Cream Pie. You can get that Pecan Pie if you want." Teriyaki said.

"Sweet." ((I always end up buying stuff for her, I've got money. She doesn't.))

"You're planning something evil aren't you?"

"So, you are too."

"Yeah."

"Are you two done yet, you're driving me insane." Jeong Jeong asked.

"Why are you so boring?" Krissy asked.

"Because he's depressed that he's a firebender?" Teriyaki whispered to her.

"I can hear you. And stop telling everyone that I want to be free of this evil fiery curse." ((Knowing him, he would probably say something similar to that. Except it would sound more deep.))

"Oh yeah, well people in hell want ice water." Krissy replied.

"Nice one." The therapist said.

"I know."

"Hey, I found what we were looking for." Teriyaki said with a, what else, evil grin.

"Perfect."

"This is going to be so fun."

"What on earth could you do with that?" Jeong Jeong asked.

"A lot actually." Krissy said with an evil grin.

"Some people are just so stupid." Teryaki said rolling her eyes.

"I'm leaving now." Jeong Jeong said as he began walking off.

"Not so fast."

"You have to come with us, or else it just won't be fun."

"Why?"

"…JUST BECAUSE!!"

* * *

Author: Don't worry. Party part two will be coming soon. I hope. Short chapter I know, sorry. AND IT IS MY FRIENDS FAULT FOR THIS CHAPTER!!

Ozai: …Teriyaki.

Author: Yeah, I don't know.

Krissy: What? It's tasty.

Author: Yeah.

Azula: Some other than Avatar characters and the author is talking in the author notes… WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!

Author: I think someone was in the author's notes before, other than us… I don't remember… Whatever.

Ozai: You annoy me.

Sokka: READ AND REVIEW OR ELSE YOU ALL DIE, and get no cookies.

Author: BYE!!


	13. Party part 2

Disclaimer: I do not know the muffin man.

Author: I apologize if there was any confusion about the last chapter! I will just be calling the therapist, therapist, so we can avoid any further confusion. BLAME KRISSY FOR THE TERIYAKI THING!!

Azula: But you were the one who asked her about the name.

Author: Yes, but she was the one getting annoyed by the fact that the therapist had no name.

Azula: You will say anything to make this not you're fault.

Author: But… it isn't…

Azula: Yes, it is.

Author: -runs off crying-

Katara: Look what you did now Azula. You made the poor girl cry.

Azula: … For some reason I feel bad about this… Stupid conscious.

Aang: ON WITH THE STORY!!

* * *

Party time part 2

* * *

"Hi all! What's been going on since I left?" The therapist asked as she walked into the party room. "Uh… What happened here?"

"It's quite simple. That Chinashima kid was doing what he always does." Azula said.

"Flipping around and doing kicks and what not?"

"Yes. He unfortunately knocked over Iroh's teapot."

"Which made Iroh go insane with anger and destroy everything."

"Yes."

"Anyone get hurt?"

"Just those hippies. They got smashed under a piece of the roof."

"Ah. That stinks."

"Yeah, but they're ghosts now. So they're just following people around driving them insane."

"Oh, then everything's fine."

"Yeah, we're just putting out a few fires, other than that it's all good."

"Oh… Where's Ozai?"

"I don't know."

"I'll go look for him."

* * *

Ten minutes later

* * *

"That's it, I can't find him I give up." The therapist said as she walked over to the snack table.

"Hey, where were you?" Ozai asked as he popped up from behind the table.

"GAH! DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!!" She shouted as she jumped backed, unfortunately she fell into the punch bowl.

"NO! I was going to spike the punch!" Ozai shouted as he smacked himself in the forehead.

"Shutup… I'm the one sitting in the punch bowl."

"…Yeah, that is pretty funny."

"Yes, it is. But if you laugh I will hit you with a rubber ducky."

"Rubber ducky?"

"They hurt. I'VE BEEN PELTED BY THEM BEFORE!!"

"Okay… I'm just going to go stand over there. On the other side of the room." Ozai said as he began backing away from the therapist, who was still in the punch bowl.

* * *

3 minutes later

* * *

"Uhm… You do know that you're sitting in the punch don't you?" Kris asked as she walked up to the therapist.

"I'm aware of that."

"You know people are staring at you don't you?"

"Of course they are. People always stare at me. See, if people didn't stare at me then we'd know that either someone weirder was around, which is very strange and just doesn't happen very often, or that some incredibly strange, weird, insane, awkward, chain of events happened that all led up to people being worried about something else."

"Did you really need to explain all of that?"

"Of course not. It's just fun."

"…See, this is why you don't have that many friends."

"I have more than you."

"Shutup."

"I DON'T WANT TO!!"

"Well too bad. I told you too and now you have to."

"Ah… I'm sad now."

"Where's Katara?" Aang asked as he suddenly popped up next to them.

"YOU INTERRUPTED A VERY IMPORTANT CONVERSATION!!" Krissy suddenly shouted, freaking Aang out.

"I just wanted to know." He squeaked, hiding behind the therapist, who was still in the punch bowl.

"Why?" The therapist asked.

"Because she told me there was a carnival outside, but there wasn't."

"Loser." Kris muttered as she walked off.

"It's okay Aang. You're just very gullible."

"Oh, okay then." He said, then walked away.

"And now I'm alone again. STOP STARING AT ME!!"

"Maybe if you got out of the punch bowl." The Earth King suggested.

"…That just might be crazy enough to work." She muttered as she tried, and failed, to pull herself out of the punch bowl. "WHY ON EARTH IS THIS THING SO HARD TO GET OUT OF!!"

"I suggest you stop shouting, that might make people stop staring at you too."

"Fine." She grumbled.

* * *

Ten minutes, and a lot of screaming and yelling later

* * *

"Finally, I thought I'd never get out of that stupid bowl." She said as she walked out of the bathroom.

"Why were you in the bathroom?" Azula asked staring at her.

"I needed to change my pants."

"Oh, that makes sense."

"OF COURSE IT DOES!! … Sorry, I'm in a shouty mood today."

"That's okay."

"So how have you been lately?"

"Pretty good, you?"

"I'm doing fine. A little bored though."

"I know what you mean."

"When's Ozai going to tell us why we're all here?" Toph asked suddenly popping up next to them.

"WHAT IS WITH EVERYONE!! Why are you all just suddenly popping up next to me and whoever I'm talking too. I swear it's happened like a million times. It's very rude and annoying! I don't like STOP IT ALL OF YOU!! YOU ANNOY ME SO MUCH!!"

"Uhm… It's only happened like three times." Azula pointed out.

"Oh, go fall off a cliff."

"I WILL!!" Chinashima shouted as he ran and jumped off a cliff. And that was the end of the little ninja flippy dude. OR IS IT?!?!

* * *

Author: Is this really the end for Chinashima? Will he come back? Will Ozai ever tell everyone what his secret is? And why is the therapist screaming so much? Tune in next time and find out.

Azula: WOW! You've been updating faster than usual.

Author: Don't get use to it… I'm going to bed now –falls asleep-

Ozai: GUESS WHAT?!

Azula: SSSHHH! She's sleeping.

Ozai: Oh… I'll tell you later. –walks off-

Aang: READ AN-

Azula: SSSHHH!!!

Aang: Sorry. Read and review or no cookies!

Zuko: No cookies.


	14. Kings, Queens, and Cactus Juice

Disclaimer: I did not catch the Gingerbread man.

Author: HI! How have you all been? This was such a fun chapter to write. That's why I'm so happy.

Mai: Aren't you always happy.

Ty Lee: It's good to be happy Mai. You should try it sometime.

Author: HEY! You guys are back to normal.

Mai and Ty Lee: Huh?

Author: A few chapters ago you guys were acting different.

Mai: I don't know what you're talking about.

Ty Lee: Are you feeling well?

Author: WHAT!? But… but… but… GAH! –runs away screaming-

Mai: That was interesting.

Ty Lee: I hope she's feeling well.

Appa: ON WITH THE STORY!!

Everyone: APPA!?!?

* * *

Kings, Queens, and Cactus Juice

* * *

"…Why is Ozai standing by the punch bowl laughing maniacally?" Sokka asked staring at Ozai. 

"I don't know, but I'm not having any punch." Aang said backing away cautiously.

"Good idea."

…

"What did you do to the punch bowl Ozai?" Iroh asked as he walked up next to him.

"Iroh? What are you doing here? I thought you were running from the cops after you accidentally killed those hippies?"

"I am. But that doesn't mean I can't stop by and say hi." He said with a smile. "So what are you doing?"

"I put cactus juice in the punch."

"Really?"

"Yes." He said with an evil grin.

"…Well I'm off."

"Man, I'm thirsty." The therapist said as she walked over to the punch bowl.

Two minutes later

"Yummy! And that my friend is why I'm the cake." The therapist said as she sat down here tenth glass of punch.

"I think you had to much punch." Ozai said staring at her.

"I will be fine madam captain! I must continue until the end!" She said, then drank more punch.

"What end?"

"LIFE! It is like this food! I am the beef and you are the veggies! You get me?" She said as she lifted up a plate of beef and veggies.

"No."

"That's why you're the stupid one." She said with a goofy grin.

"WHAT?!"

"I am the smart one so I'll get rich! Uh… find my happy place." She mumbled then sank to the floor.

"AH! Are you okay." Ozai said looking down at her.

"You're the one who bought the food remember."

* * *

A few minutes later

* * *

"Come on." Ozai said as he dragged the therapist across the room. "Let's get you to bed." 

"Fire the engines! Shoot the torpedoes! All hands on deck! …Bleh… I think I have sea sickness." She said as she nearly fell over.

"Oh great."

"I am the Great King of Spain! All bow down!"

"What?!" Ozai shouted staring at her as if she had four heads.

"I am lost on the road of life my friend!" She mumbled as she hugged Ozai.

"Good for you." He said trying to push her off of him.

"TRAITOR!" She suddenly shouted then let go of Ozai and ran, well stumbled, across the room.

"How dare you?" She shouted as she pointed at Kris who was standing over a broken clock.

"What?"

"YOU TRAITOR! Traitor! Traitor! Traitor!" She chanted. "You broke that clock! Time is no longer on your side!"

"Ah… Not again, I just got it to like me."

"You will be trampled by elephants."

"Again?"

"Sorry, she's not feeling well." Ozai said as he walked up and began dragging the therapist away.

He continued dragging her across the room as she shouted random things like: "I love cake!" "Let's have a party!" "That evil cat bit me." "I love you!"

* * *

Ten minutes later

* * *

"Ozai. If you ever decide to do something as stupid as spike the punch. Ever. Again. I will kill you." The therapist said as she rested her head on her hand. 

"IT WASN'T MY IDEA?"

"Then whose bright idea was it?"

"… Uhm… Hahn's." He lied.

"DON'T LIE TO ME!"

"Well. I'm not sure. Some weird guy just walked up handed me cactus juice, told me to pour it in the punch, then walked off."

"And why did you listen to him."

"It sounded like fun. And besides you would've too."

"Duh, but I expect you to be more responsible than me."

"I DON'T WANNA!!" He shouted than ran off.

…

"How come the therapist had so much punch mixed with cactus juice, but was only acting weird for about ten minutes? And I had just as much as her and was weird for two days?" Sokka asked looking over at Aang.

"Elementary, my dear Sokka."

"What?"

"It's quite simple. She may have had just as much, maybe even more than you did. But, it was mixed with punch. So there wasn't as much as it seemed. Plus the fruitiness of the punch cancels out the long lasting effects of the cactus juice. Plus, she's always weird so what's the difference."

"…Why does that seem to make sense?" Sokka said staring at Aang.

…

"Who wants to go with me to the store to pick up some juice!" Azula suddenly shouted from the middle of the room.

"I will!" the therapist shouted raising her hand.

"Me too!" Haru said, raising his hand too. ((What?! Just cause he's some unimportant person from the Earth Kingdom doesn't mean he can't go to the party.))

"Anyone else?"

Everyone backed away.

"Something tells me I shouldn't have volunteered." The therapist muttered under her breath.

"Come on! We can use one of daddy's tanks."

"TANKS!"

"Yeah, it'll be fun, it'll be fun." Azula said as she dragged the two out of the room.

* * *

30 minutes later

* * *

"We got the juice." Azula said as she walked into the room with a big smile on her face, she was followed by a very terrified looking Haru. 

"Where's the therapist?" Sokka asked, slightly worried.

"She needed to sit down." Haru said.

"Oh…"

* * *

A few minutes later

* * *

"Hey guys! What's going on?" The therapist said with a smile as she walked over to Haru and Sokka. 

"I was telling him about how Azula drove the tank we borrowed." Haru replied.

"Yeah, I heard you had a ruff time. … Uh… Hello." Sokka said staring at the therapist whose face was now white as a ghost. "Hello."

"Please stop the tank." She said, terrified.

"What?" Sokka and Haru asked in unison.

"Would you please stop? Azula be more careful. I'm sorry. Oh no, we're going to die. LOOK OUT MR. GRANDPA! RUN RUN AWAY!" She started shouting and freaking out.

"CALM DOWN!!" Katara suddenly shouted as she ran up and punched the therapist in the stomach.

"KATARA! Why did you do that?" Sokka asked staring at his little sister in shock as Haru checked on the therapist.

"Do what?" She asked looking at her brother.

"… Have you lost your mind?!"

"Whatever." She muttered than walked off.

"Ow… That hurt. Remind me to hurt Katara later." The therapist said as she stood up, holding her stomach.

"That's not good. If you fight fire with fire you just get-" Haru was saying but was cut off by a loud crash, and then another, and another.

Then suddenly an elephant came walking into the room with someone sitting on top.

"… Kris… Why are you sitting on an elephant?" The therapist said staring up at her friend.

"It all started twenty minutes ago… But I don't feel like explaining it, so I'll give you the short version. I was trampled by elephants, then I became a zombie, and now I rule Mongolia. So… I AM THE ZOMBIE QUEEN OF MONGOLIA!!"

"… You did all of that in twenty minutes. Wow."

"I know."

"Well she's the Great King of Spain. So why don't you leave and go rule the earth." Ozai said as he walked by.

"What's he talking about?" Kris said looking down at her friend.

"I'm not quite sure." She replied staring at him as he walked off.

* * *

"FIREWORKS!!" The therapist shouted as she ran outside with everyone else to see the fireworks. ((What's a party without fireworks.)) 

"So pretty." She said as she watched them go off.

"So I guess the party is almost over." Iroh said looking over at Ozai.

"Yeah, it was a very interesting party."

"A party that involves Kings, Queens, and Cactus Juice. Yeah, definitely interesting."

* * *

Narrator: Now that the party's over will we learn Ozai's secret? And who gave Ozai the cactus juice? Could it be the same person who was talking to the therapist in chapter 7? Whatever happened to him anyway? And why is Katara acting so mean? WHY?! Tune in next time to find out, or just be puzzled by more questions that make no sense. 

Author: Don't worry the big secret, which really isn't that amazing, will be in the next chapter… Or is it?

Sokkia: Kings, Queens, and Cactus Juice?

Author: What you don't get it?

Sokkia: No.

Author: The King part was the therapist, you know the whole Great King of Spain thing, the Queen was Kirby, the whole Zombie Queen of Mongolia thing, and well… if you don't get the Cactus Juice part I'm going to hit you.

Sokka: Don't worry I get it.

Author: Good.

Jet: Read

Bato: And

Hakoda: Review!

Haru: OR NO COOKIES FOR YOU!!


	15. Secrets, Stupidity, and Spanky

Disclaimer: I…do not… own… AVATAR!! I know it's a shock. But true.

Author: I feel good about how the last chapter went.

Mai: Even though you used a couple of lines from an anime that most people haven't heard of.

Author: MAI!! You weren't suppose to tell them that.

Mai: Whatever. –walks off-

Author: … IGNORE EVERYTHING YOU JUST HEARD… well read…. JUST FORGET IT!!

Aang: No.

Author: GO FALL OFF A CLIFF!

Aang: I'll just fly back up.

Author: Then go fly away.

Aang: I don't feel like it.

Author: Then just shutup.

Aang: No.

Suki: Well this won't be over for a while so, ON WITH THE STORY!!

* * *

Secrets, Stupidity, and Spanky

* * *

"SPANKY!! WHERE ARE YOU!?" The therapist shouted as she ran around the giant party room.

"Spanky?" Sokka asked staring at her.

"Yes, he's my pet."

"Pet?"

"Yes. He's a giant Earth Worm."

"Worm?"

"Yes. He's so fun to ride. Really fast."

"You can ride a gaint worm, but being in a tank with Azula driving freaks you out."

"Why don't you go driving with her?"

"I was just saying. Kinda pathetic."

"YOU'RE SO MEAN!" She shouted then ran off crying.

"Man, Sokka. You're a jerk." Katara said walking over to him.

"ME! You're the one who punched her in the stomach!" Sokka exclaimed.

"Yeah, bring up something that happened like 20 minutes ago." She said rolling her eyes.

"Why are you acting so strange?"

"Yeah, now you're trying to change the subject."

"… I'm leaving." He said then walked off.

"You're just mad that I outsmarted you!"

"SHUTUP!!"

"Do they always fight like that." Zuko asked staring at the two siblings.

"Just on weekends and Tuesdays." Aang replied.

"… I swear you all have gone crazy." Zuko mumbled than began to walk off, but was stopped by the therapist who jumped up in front of him.

"You're like a golden head of cabbage grown out of the compost of the gods." She said, then smiled, gave him a hug, and walked away.

"What? I don't get."

"THAT'S CAUSE YOU'RE A MORON!!" Azula shouted in his ear, which caused him to fall over and land on top of Toph, who is so small no one saw her. ((Okay, now I'm being mean.))

"Way to go Zuko. Crush the little blind girl. FATTY!!" Ozai, who just popped up, shouted.

"You know, I always thought dads were suppose to be loving and encouraging, or even goofy and silly. What happened to you? I mean come on! I have a seemingly nice life. I had a nice mom, I have a nice uncle, a little crazy, but nice, I did get a psychotic sister, but what little sister isn't evil. But when it came to dads, I got you. You completely messed up my life. I might have had a nice life if it wasn't for you! I HOPE THAT MAKES YOU HAPPY!!" He shouted then stomped off, still ranting.

"…It does make me happy." Ozai said looking over at Azula and smiling.

"Yeah, it is fun messing with Zuko's life and making him miserable. Isn't it?" She said with a smile.

"I feel good about how that went." The therapist said as she popped up in between Ozai and Azula.

"Why did you just pop up. I thought you said you hated that?" Azula asked staring at her.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I think you're hearing things. Hope you're not crazy. BYE!" She said then walked off, again.

"Why does she keep popping up then walking away?" Ozai asked confused.

"She's looking for Spanky, her giant Earth Worm." Sokka said, who just finished his fight with Katara and came over to see why Zuko was ranting.

"Giant… Worm?" They both said staring at him.

"Hey, don't look at me. She said it."

"Interesting… Hey! Whose upside down in the trash can? Is that Katara?" Azula asked looking at the trash can.

"I think it is." Ozai said staring at it as well.

"Hey Sokka. Why is… Sokka." Azula said looking around. "Where'd he go?"

"…I don't know."

* * *

Elsewhere

* * *

"SPANKY WHERE ARE YOU!!??!!?!?!"

* * *

Back at the party

* * *

"When's Ozai going to tell us why we're here?" Aang asked as he leaned against the snack table.

"I'm not sure. We should do something until we find out." Bumi said with a crazy grin on his face.

"We should eat some pie! Way up high! In the sky! But we can't fly. So… we'd… DIE!!" Someone started singing.

"It's those stupid hippies again." Sokka muttered as his eye twitched slightly.

"I thought they died." Aang said, confused.

"They came back. As ghosts."

"Oh."

* * *

Somewhere else in the party room

* * *

"Where's Sokka?" Katara said angrily looking at Azula.

"Not sure. When we saw you in the trash can he disappeared."

"He will die." She said menacingly.

"But first." The therapist said as she jumped up from behind a pillar. "YOU WILL PAY!!"

Then she walked up to Katara, kicked her in the shin, then walked off.

"That was it?" Azula said staring at the therapist walking off.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow." Katara repeated as she jumped up and down holding her shin.

* * *

Author: It's the party that never ends, it just goes on and on my friends. Cause it will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever end. It just keeps going on and on and on and on and on and on and on and ON AND ON MY FRIENDS!!!

Suki: Is it really going to never end?

Author: No, it will end in a chapter or two. I'm just not writing the end yet cause as soon as the party ends the story pretty much ends.

Suki: REALLY!?

Author: Yes… Now excuse me while I go sulk in the corner.

Suki: Okay, bye…. Now what.

Azula: THIS!

Mai: READ!

Toph: AND!

Katara: REVIEW!

Ty Lee: Or, NO COOKIES FOR YOU!


	16. They're Back

Disclaimer: I don't own a giant worm.

Bikini Han Jawa: HI! How are you all today?

Azula: Fine, now change your name back to Author before you confuse people.

Bikini Han Jawa: But I don't want to.

Ty Lee: We apologize for all of this. She's been playing Lego Star Wars 2 with her sister, a lot.

Author: IT'S JUST SO FUN!! I can't help it.

Azula: That's it you're grounded.

Author: No, Luke is.

Azula: …What?

Author: When I was playing with my younger brother he was playing Luke, and I was playing Darth Vader. So I grounded him cause he was being an idiot.

Azula: What does that have to do with anything?!

Author: Everything.

Azula: Oh God help us.

Author: What? … What?! … WHAT?!

Aang: ON WITH THE STORY!!

* * *

They're Back

* * *

"I say we go find Ozai and force him to tell us this stupid secret." Toph said, her eye twitching slightly.

"Now Toph, violence is never the answer." Iroh said as he sipped some tea.

"So, it's fun."

"Well yeah. Of course it is. But patience is key."

"… Whatever." She mumbled then walked off.

* * *

"I LIVE!!" Someone shouted as he ran into the room.

"Chinashima? I thought you fell of a cliff?" Tiger said staring at him.

"I did…"

"…Okay then."

"I'm going to go have some punch now, bye." He said then walked off.

"Doesn't the punch still have cactus juice in it?" fourfourfourfour asked looking over at tiger.

"No, the therapist made sure to dump it all out."

"Oh… okay then."

* * *

"So there I was, trapped downstairs. My younger brother was upstairs. They're was a giant spider on the stairs separating the two of us." The therapist said, sitting in the middle of a group of people.

"What's going on?" Zuko asked as he walked up.

"Ssshhhh! She's telling a story." Katara said pointing to the therapist.

"As I was saying, we were trapped. My brother was trying to throws things at it, but it didn't work. I ran to his room to grab a box and I threw it at the spider. It knocked him over. But he was still standing. I had a brilliant idea and ran outside to grab the basketball. When I came back in I threw the ball over the spider to my brother, luckily we both had recently been in an awesome PE class and knew how to throw and catch, but back to the story. My brother caught the ball and he was able to hit the spider with it and it went down."

"Wow." Someone said in shock.

"And that my friends, was the epic adventure that me and my brother had this weekend… Then we went to play some Lego Star Wars 2. Cause we needed a break from all the heroics and what not." The therapist finished her story.

"…Did that really happen?" Zuko asked staring at her.

"Of course it did. I'm no liar." She said as she stuck her tongue out. ((It did happen. It was just a very small spider… But it was a jumping spider!!))

* * *

"Okay people! I have an announcement to make!" Ozai shouted from his throne.

"WOW! I never noticed that!" Someone shouted.

"How on earth do you not notice a giant freaking throne!?" Someone else shouted back.

"SHUTUP! I am trying to talk here!" Ozai shouted and everyone went quite. "You're all here today because I'm announcing that-"

Suddenly there was a huge crash and an explosion, which naturally kicked up a lot of dust. So when the dust cleared everyone saw a huge hole in one of the walls and four men standing there, a tall one, a short one, a medium sized one, and a really tall one who was wearing a top hat.

The tall one came up first and said, "I am Victor!"

Then the short one, "I am Wayne."

Then the medium one, "I am Jerry!"

"And this is," They all said pointing to the tallest one with the hat, "Our leader… Boss-dude! And we are the-"

"WHAT ARE YOU GUYS THINKING!?!" Ozai shouted as he jumped up from his throne, "There's a door barely ten feet from you!"

"You're point?" Wayne asked.

"YOU COULD'VE USED THE STUPID DOOR INSTEAD OF BLOWING UP MY WALL!!" He shouted as fire exploded from his fists. ((I figured that the show is technically about bending I might as well throw some in.))

"Uhm… Boss-dude… what happened to those CFELWCEC guys who were suppose to be backing us up?" Jerry said as he hid behind Victor.

"They are busy helping Santa defeat the evil snow gnomes."

"AND YOU COULDN'T HAVE TOLD US THAT BEFORE!!" the other three shouted in unison.

"I thought it was irrelevant."

"IRRELEVANT!!!"

"Yes."

"Well now what?" Victor asked looking over at Boss-dude.

"Quite simple. We ask them if they have seen the crazy chic."

"Which one?" Zuko asked.

"Which one?" Jerry repeated.

"Yeah, there's a lot of 'em 'round these parts."

"It's true." Azula said with a nod. "And when did Zuko become a cowboy?"

"2 things." Ozai said holding up two fingers. "One: Which girl? Two: No one cares about Zuko, so let's focus on me… I mean what's going on."

"She's the crazy chic who has been giving you guys therapy." Boss-dude replied.

"Over there." Everyone said pointing towards the snack table, where the therapist was looking under the table.

"THERE SHE IS!! DON'T LET HER GET AWAY!!" Boss-dude shouted, then the other three ran towards her.

"What?" The therapist said as she stood up and looked around, only to see three crazy looking guys running at her.

"HOLD IT!!" Iroh suddenly shouted as he popped up between the therapist and the three dudes.

"What?" the therapist repeated.

"First things first. Why are you guys chasing her." He said pointing to the therapist.

"We're chasing her because she escaped from an asylum about two months ago." Boss-dude replied.

"You mean you're not a therapist?" Ozai said looking over at her.

"Nope."

"So you lied?" Zuko asked looking at her.

"Yep."

"I thought you said you weren't a liar."

"I lied."

"Is that why you were in jail?" Iroh asked.

"JAIL!?" Everyone shouted, except Zuko who had known this all along.

"No, no. That's a completely different story." The therapist laughed.

"Then why were you in jail?"

"Disrupting the peace."

"…Really?"

"Yeah. I started messing with people's heads and yelling at inanimate objects."

"WOW!! THAT'S INSANE!!" Azula shouted. "And why doesn't Zuko seemed as shocked as all of us?"

"Because I knew that she was in jail and I knew that she was insane."

"Then why didn't you tell us?"

"Because I wanted to see what would happen."

"YOU JERK!! I HATE YOU!!" She shouted then hit Zuko with a book.

"YOU'RE SO MEAN!!" Zuko shouted then ran off crying.

…

"Okay… Two questions. One: Why is Zuko acting like a teenaged girl? And two: Why is the ground shaking?" The therapist pointed out, which caused everyone to notice that the ground was shaking, except for Toph, who already knew cause she knows all things. ((LET'S THROW THE LITTLE BRAT OFF A CLIFF… Sorry.))

The shaking continued for a few more seconds until…

KABOOM! ((I always wanted to do that!))

Then suddenly a giant creature popped out of the ground.

"Is that?" Azula said, her eyes going wide.

"Couldn't be?" Mai said as her mouth dropped open.

"It is…" Ty Lee said in shock

"SPANKY!!" The therapist shouted as she ran over and hugged the giant worm, then she climbed on his head and said, "So long suckers."

The she rode off on her giant worm.

"COME ON BOYS LET'S FOLLOW HER!!" Boss-dude shouted, then all four of them ran out of the room.

…

"Well now that that's over I would like to announce that I am resigning as Fire Lord." Ozai said from on top of his throne.

"DIDN'T EXPECT THAT DID YA!!" The therapist shouted as she suddenly popped up on Spanky then disappeared again.

* * *

Author: THE END!! … PSYCHE!! It's not over yet. One more chapter to explain everything. Then… then… then… -runs off crying-

Azula: Then it's over!

Author: But don't forget to tune in next time to find out what happens next.

Azula: Not that there is that much to tell.

Author: Of course there is.

Azula: Such as…

Author: Such as, who was that creepy guy who was talking to the therapist in chapter 7? Who will be the next Fire Lord? What will become of the therapist? And will I ever actually answer all of these questions?

Azula: …Whatever… -walks off-

Aang: READ!

Katara: AND!

Toph: REVIEW!

Sokka: OR NO COOKIES FOR YOU!!


	17. The End PSYCHE!

Disclaimer: I do not own… my soul. My friend stole it from me.

Author: Sorry for not updating in a while. I GOT 100 REVIEWS!!! THANKS FOR ALL OF THE REVIEWS!! -happy dances- ...And sorry if this chapter stinks.

Zuko: They all stink.

Author: … That was just mean… -cries-

Everyone: ZUKO!!

Zuko: …What?

Sokka: How could you be so mean?

Azula: You are so rude.

Katara: I can't believe you'd be so cruel.

Zuko: Like she hasn't been mean to us.

Everyone: … Well… I guess.

Jet: But it was still mean.

Aang: Yes, it really was.

Haru: … ON WITH THE STORY!! Before anything worse happens.

* * *

The End… PSYCHE!!

* * *

"You're not going to be the Fire Lord anymore?!" Azula shouted. 

"Nope. I'm going to become a world traveler." He said with a grin.

"Okay two problems with that." The therapist said as she suddenly popped up.

"I thought you were running from those weird dudes." Zuko asked, staring at her.

"You're point."

"…Nevermind."

"Well as I was saying. There's two problems with that. One: You might get killed if someone recognizes you."

"Eh, not that many people know what I looked like." Ozai shrugged.

"… Well … Two: Who will become Fire Lord?"

"That's easy, Azula."

"She's joining the circus with Ty Lee."

"Sorry Dad." Azula shouted from somewhere in the crowd.

"…Iroh?"

"He's a fugitive."

"… Mai?"

"She's an international superstar."

"She is?"

"Yes."

"Oh… You?"

"I can't. Those crazy dudes might catch me."

"Then who?" Ozai asked looking around.

"Me! PICK ME!!" Zuko shouted as he jumped up and down.

"No, you suck in life."

"… I HATE YOU!!" Zuko shouted then ran off.

"NO ONE CARES!" Everyone in the room shouted.

"Kai will be the Fire Lord!" The therapist shouted.

"He can't be." Someone in the room shouted.

"Why not?"

"Krissy just kidnapped him."

"Crud… Well you need to stay the Fire Lord. DEAL WITH IT!!"

"NO!! You must think!" Ozai shouted.

* * *

3 minutes later

* * *

"Got anything?" 

"… Maybe you should just stay the Fire Lord."

"But I want to travel the world."

"Well, I'm sorry. But you're going to have to stay the Fire Lord for a while. At least until we can think of another person to replace you."

"Ah… Okay, fine." He grumbled as he walked off.

* * *

And now we will take a short break and watch/read, Stories by Krissy.

* * *

"Well there once was a boy who felt sick. And whenever he did, his mom would tell him the story about how her and the boy's dad met." 

"It was a cold and rainy night; a young girl came walking down the street. She came across a man wearing a banana suit. The girl thought that the man was very weird. So she tried to forget the man. But he kept trying to talk to her about the price market. So after ten minutes of non-stop stupid the girl yelled. "LIKE I CARE THAT THE MARKET CRASHES!" And she took off faster then the man's eye could see."

"The man, alone in the rain, with nothing but his newspaper and banana suit to help him out. Shed a single tear. And it landed on the ground and grew into a small and weak tree. And so, that man swore that he would everyday, water the tree, and read to it. And even keep the bugs off it's leafs. And after years of love and care. The tree grew up to be a strong and tall tree. But the man had grown weak over the years and he could no longer care for the tree. So he came by one last time to care for it. And as he set down his watering can, and looked up he saw the girl from that fateful night."

"She was as lovely as he remembered. But the man found that she was not alone. So he asked. "Oy, lady, who's that ugly man next to you?""

""How dare you!" The girl screamed. "That man is the love of my life! And I won't let you mock him.""

"The love of her life was a man named Vic, and he was very ugly. He met a dragon when he was on his way to the prom. He had been badly deformed from the fight with the dragon and was about to die. When the girl showed up and killed the dragon. Vic, being a man of pride, tried to kill the girl so that he'll be manly. But the girl talked him out of it. For killing a lady is not manly but an evil thing to do. And Vic who felt awful for what he tried to do. Took the girl for his wife."

"And that is the story the mother told her little boy everytime he felt sick."

* * *

And this has been Stories by Krissy. ((Yes, she actually wrote that. Don't ask.))

* * *

Azula: Well the author is busy crying. So I'll wrap things up. 

Zuko: I wasn't that mean.

Azula: It's not that. The author just watched the saddest episode of her favorite TV show.

Zuko: Oh…. –walks off-

Azula: … Well first off: No, the story is not over. The author changed her mind at the last minute and decided to do one more chapter after this, possibly two. And second, she's thinking of doing a sequel, she's not sure what it will be about, but she's thinking. And she wants to know what you think. So until next time!

Jet: READ!!

Teo: AND!!

Haru: REVIEW!!

Longshot: -silence-

Azula: He said: OR NO COOKIES FOR YOU!!


	18. Of Pirates and ShoeStealing Gnomes

Disclaimer: I don't own pudding. My mom won't buy any.

Author: I have officially decided to do 20 chapters in all, so two more after this chapter.

Azula: 20 chapters? Doesn't that seem a bit much?

Author: No.

Azula: Why?

Author: BECAUSE I SAID SO!!

Azula: -hides behind Zuko- Okay.

Zuko: ON WITH THE STORY!!

* * *

Of Pirates and Shoe-Stealing Gnomes

* * *

"So what have you been up to Iroh?" The therapist asked, sitting next to Iroh, by a river. ((Wow, somewhere besides a tea shop!!))

"Not much, running from the law, drinking tea, playing Pai Sho, drinking tea, shopping, and did I mention drinking tea?" Iroh said with a smile.

"You're addicted to tea, aren't you?"

"You're just now figuring this out?"

"Not really."

"Then why did you ask?"

"No reason. … Are those pirates?" The therapist asked pointing up the river.

"Why yes. They are." Iroh said watching the ship curiously.

"I wonder what they want?"

"Oy!" Someone shouted from the ship. "Either of you know where we can find our shoes!"

"…You're shoes!?" The therapist shouted back.

"Yeah! Some Gnomes took them!"

"WHAT?!"

"…HOLD ON!!"

A few minutes later the pirate ship stopped and a bunch of pirates came out… without shoes on.

"I said, have you seen any Shoe-Stealing Gnomes around?"

"…No." They both replied, staring at the pirate as if he was crazy. ((Which is odd because you'd think they'd be use to crazy stuff.))

"Darn. We've been looking all over the world for them."

"…Why not buy new shoes?" the therapist suggested.

"Because we have a score to settle with these gnomes."

"I see."

…

"WAIT!" Iroh suddenly shouted. "I remember something. I saw some funny looking short guys in some really big shoes in a town a passed through."

"Where?" The pirate captain asked.

"Not to far from here. FOLLOW ME!!" He shouted then started heading off into the forest.

* * *

Ten minutes later

* * *

"I thought the town would be farther." The therapist said, looking around the old town.

There was a bunch of shopping carts everywhere and people crowding them, and one of the cart owners was shouting something about his precious cabbages. But what stood out the most was some funny looking short guys dancing on a table in the middle of it all, with huge shoes on.

"OUR SHOES!!" The pirates all shouted.

Then they charged forward and attacked the Shoe-Stealing Gnomes. ((They live in the closet in my brother's bathroom.))

* * *

5 minutes later

* * *

The pirates were leaving the town, with their shoes. The Gnomes had ran off and joined the Ginger Bread man in his quest to find the Holy Ketchup bottle. And the therapist and Iroh had disappeared into the abyss… Okay, so they were at a new tea shop that had just opened up in town.

"You know, it's interesting what you can get when you tell people you're a critic." Iroh said sipping his tea.

"Yes, but remember kids." The therapist said. "It's wrong to lie to people to get free stuff. So don't follow Iroh's example, he is a fugitive after all."

"So you don't want any tea?" Iroh asked.

"I didn't say that. I simply said it was wrong." She said then sat down to have some tea.

"Sure you did." He said with a grin.

* * *

And once again it's time for. –drum roll- Stories by Krissy!!

* * *

There once was a bay; it was calm and cool, crisp and blue. And every Monday, a little after noon, a little girl about six years old would go down and play in the water. She loved to count the bullfrogs that lived there. And she would eat the watermelons that grew there.

But one Monday, a little after noon, when the little girl went to count the frogs and eat the watermelons. There was a big ugly bear sitting on a Lilly pad combing his hair. Now the little girl's mother always told the girl stories about this strange bear. Though the girl never thought anything of them. So the girl came up to the bear. And asked in a sweet voice.

"Mr. bear, why are combing your hair? I mean, do bears care about the way they look?"

The bear looked madder then a June bug put through a blender.  
"Hey there LITTLE GIRL. Bears do so care about how they look. Why else would I be combing my hair!"

The girl, who was about to cry, started yelling at the bear. "Well you shouldn't care! Cause my daddy's just going to kill you and turn you into a comfy rug!"

That was the last straw for the bear. He got up off he's lilly pad. And mauled the little girl.

Now, the little girl, who's not so little anymore, has a cool scar that she can use to get free things off of talk shows. And the scar even got her into Dr. Phil's house.

So kids, whenever you see a bear combing his hair down by the bay...Get it mad at you. You'll get to meet Dr. Phil.

* * *

Author: Sorry the chapters are so short. I just don't feel like making really long ones.

Jet: She's just being lazy.

Author: -shots Jet in the head-

Jet: Ghost.

Author: I HATE YOU!! –runs off-

Zuko: Wow, I've never been able to make her run off with just one word.

Jet: Skill. –walks off-

Azula: That was strange.

Zuko: Very.

Momo: READ!!

Appa: AND!!

Momo: REVIEW!!

Appa: OR NO COOKIES FOR YOU!!

Azula: What did they say?

Zuko: I'm not sure…

Jet: They said, "Read and review or no cookies for you."

Zuko: How do you know?

Azula: What? Can you talk to animals now?!

Jet: No. That's what everyone says at the end.

Zuko and Azula: … Oh… Yeah…

Aang: READANDREVIEWORNOCOOKIESFORYOU!! –runs off-

Zuko and Azula: Odd.


	19. Fire Lords and Circus Acts

Disclaimer: I don't own the Holy Ketchup bottle.

Author: The second to last chapter. -cries-

Zuko: STOP WHINING!!

Author: Stop being such a jerk! –cries more-

Ozai: Zuko! You're grounded!

Zuko: But!

Ozai: NO BUTS!! Go to your room!

Zuko: Curse you. –walks to his room-

Iroh: ON WITH THE STORY!!

* * *

Fire Lords and Circus Acts

* * *

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!" 

"Why are you laughing maniacally dad?" Azula said sitting down next to Ozai.

"Because I'm bored and I can't think of anything evil! So I'm hoping maniacal laughter will help. But it's not… So now I'm just sitting here talking to you and trying to figure out what to do about the whole Fire Lord thing at the same time. AND THAT'S JUST GIVING ME EVEN MORE OF A HEADACHE!!"

"I know how you feel."

"YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW I FEEL!!"

"Don't lie to yourself. You know I know everything! I'm not Zuko."

"True."

"…Wanna go to the circus?"

"Sure, why not."

* * *

Later, at the circus

* * *

"So what are you doing?" 

"Eh, lighting stuff on fire and shooting some lightning around."

"So, a light show?"

"Yep."

"Whose before you?"

"Cabbage juggler."

"Cabbage…"

"Yeah, don 't ask."

"So have you figured out whose going to be the new Fire Lord yet?"

"Not a clue."

"I guess you're never going to be able to travel the world."

"STOP RUBBING IT IN!!" He shouted then ran off.

"There is too much insanity in this world… And I'm okay with that." She said with a smile.

"And there always will be." A figure, hiding in the shadows, said.

"Who are you? … And how are you hiding in the shadows when it's sunny out and there are no shadows anywhere?"

"Exactly."

"…Exactly what?"

"Exactly, exactly."

"Who are you?!"

"I am… Scruffy Ambrosius macaroon the 14th"

"Scruffy… Ambrosius macaroon… the 14th"

"Yes."

"Well what do you want Scruffy?"

"SAY THE WHOLE NAME!!"

"Whatever, what do you want?"

"I'm not sure. I'm a friend off the therapist and she asked me to give you this." He said handing Azula a piece of paper.

"…This is an invitation for a family reunion… in five years."

"You're point?"

"…Uhm… thanks… Scruffy."

"THERE'S A REASON ALL OF MY NAME IS THERE!! SAY IT ALL!!"

"Whatever." She said, then walked off.

* * *

5 minutes later

* * *

"Hey dad." Azula said walking over to Ozai. 

"I just met some weird guy."

"Scruffy?"

"Yeah. He was annoying."

"Now what?"

"I don't know…"

"Well I guess I'll see you at this party in five years."

"Yeah… Bye!"

* * *

And now it's time for… STORIES BY **_KRISSY_**!

* * *

In a dark and lonely forest, there lived an old, but wise man. He would spend his days talking with the trees and making little huts for the mice that lived on the forest floor. He was a kind a gentle man who never sought a fight or made you feel small. 

The man would climb trees to speak with the birds, and dig holes to converse with the earthworms. One day while digging his hole, a bead of sweat fell off of the old man. When it hit the ground a faint roaring sound started. The man thought that he had upset the god of the earth, so with a prick of a needle the man gave a drop of blood to the god. That just seemed to make the roaring sound greater. The man started to panic and screamed and prayed for the god to forgive him, but nothing helped. And after six worry filled minutes the roaring stopped, only to be replaced with a "Thump Thump" Every few seconds the thumping got louder and louder.

The man started to dig faster and deeper. As soon as the hole was big enough he jumped in. Things got quiet. The man poked his head out of the hole only to see a seal. The man felt foolish for letting a fat seal scare him like that, so he got up out of his hole and said.

"Oy, Seal. How do you do?"

The seal gave a great big yawn and answered "Would you like to get a free weekend to Belgium? Let me guess... Yes, you would. Well you can! Just come to our ten minute meeting about our time shares."

The man looked like he was about to pass out. "Lord no!" Shouted the man. "Time shares are just huge scams to get all your money. Why would I want one?"

The Seal got very annoyed with the man and walked off. But before he left the man alone in his hole he shouted back.

"But they have good waffles there!"

* * *

Author: Not my best work. Sorry. Krissy is away, so I have no inspiration… So I'm sad. 

Zuko: SUCK IT UP!!

Ozai: I thought I told you to go to your room.

Zuko: Fine. –walks off angrily-

Ozai: Sorry, he's an idiot.

Author: Yeah, he is.

Azula: Why are we always so mean to Zuko?

Author and Ozai: Cause it's fun.

Azula: Oh yeah.

Chong: READ!!

Moku: AND!!

Lily: REVIEW!!

All hippies(singing): OR NO COOKIES FOR YOU!!


	20. Family Reunion

Disclaimer: I don't own Scruffy Ambrosius macaroon the 14th

Author: This is sadly the last chapter of my story. –cries… again-

Azula: I'm sorry, but this is getting annoying.

Ty Lee: It really is.

Mai: She'll feel better once she writes her new story.

Zuko: I hope so.

Ozai: ON WITH THE STORY!!

* * *

Family Reunion

* * *

"Wow! It's been nearly five years since I've been here." Azula said walking into the throne room of the palace.

"What are you talking about?! You were here yesterday!" Ozai said staring at his daughter.

"Oh yeah… I was out late, then slept until 2. So I'm kind of slow."

"Oh, that makes sense… Why were you out so late?" Ozai asked suspiciously.

"Ty Lee had coffee. She kept me up all night."

"Oh. Okay then."

"Where's Zuko? And Iroh?"

"I'm not sure where Zuko is, but Iroh is in the kitchen."

"Getting tea."

"Yeah."

"I missed this tea." Iroh said walking into the room.

"What's so special about?" Azula asked.

"It's imported."

"From where?"

"England. The one place I've always wanted to visit… But I can't."

"Why not?"

"I don't know… Where's Zuko?"

"No one knows… Maybe he wasn't invited."

"Or didn't want to get made fun off." Ozai pointed out.

"Most likely. He's to easy to make fun of."

"He really is isn't he?"

"Yeah. Poor kid."

* * *

Ten minutes later

* * *

"Hi guys!" Zuko said as he walked in with someone, and a smile on his face.

"ZUKO'S SMILING!! It's a sign of the Apocalypse!" Azula shouted then jumped behind the throne.

"What's wrong with him being happy? And who is this nephew?" Iroh said looking at the young woman who was standing next to Zuko.

"This is my wife, Rosetta."

"Zuko's married! It's a sign of the Apocalypse!" Ozai shouted then joined Azula behind the throne.

"When did you meet her Zuko?" Iroh asked.

"Well it was after I became famous, and rich. She was so beautiful. So I married her. She said yes because all the free clothes I could get her."

"Free clothes." Azula said peeking her head out from behind the throne. "How?"

"I'm a famous fashion designer. DUH!" Zuko said with a grin.

Azula didn't find it very impressive though because she suddenly burst out laughing, then said. "I laugh in your particular direction. I'm not laughing directly at you, cause that would be rude. Just know I'm laughing at you."

"That doesn't make sense."

"It makes more sense than you think." She said and continued laughing.

Ozai then walked out from behind the throne, while trying, and failing, not to laugh. "That's a really… interesting… job."

"You're just jealous."

"Yeah, Zuko, I'm really jealous." Ozai replied sarcastically.

"HI!! I'm here! You can all relax now." The therapist said as she walked in with a big smile on her face.

"This is a family reunion. Why are you here?" Azula asked confused.

"Because you don't have enough family members. So I decided to show up."

"How did you even know that we were all going to be here?" Ozai asked suspiciously.

"I was the one who sent the invites. DUH!"

"That guy … uhm… I don't remember his name, I think it started with an S… Whatever. But he gave them to us."

"Yes, but I told them to give them to you. And his name is Scruffy Ambrosius macaroon the 14th." ((Scruffy belongs to Krissy!))

"Why would you send us invites to a family reunion 5 years before it actually happened."

"5? I got mine 3 years ago?" Zuko said, confused.

"Yeah, Scruffy is slow."

"SAY THE WHOLE NAME!!" They heard someone shouted suddenly, but couldn't tell where it was coming from.

"SHUTUP!! Sorry about that." She said with a smile. "He's a friend of mine, remember way back in session 5." ((Chapter 7))

"Wasn't that the one that we ran out on because you were acting crazy."

"Oh yeah… So you guys wouldn't know him. Oh well. … LET'S DANCE!!"

So they all proceeded to dance for the rest of the night then went their separate ways, Azula went back to the circus, Iroh continued to try to get to England, Zuko went back to his new home, that he just recently built, complete with frozen yogurt and a nail salon, the therapist went to visit Zuko, he got mad because the house warming party wasn't for another week, so she left and went to her friend Krissy's house, and Ozai, finally, found someone to temporarily take of as Fire Lord while he traveled the world.

* * *

Once again, and possibly for the final time, here is… STORIES BY KRISSY!!

* * *

Golden leaves fell from the sky, dancing down into the birdbath outside a small and quiet house; it gave off the feeling of death. Even though it was a bright yellow. On the deck on the evil yellow house sat an old hound dog named Adelphia. He was a good dog. Never ran away, never bit little kids and never crapped in the house. The old hound dog lived with a Prussian officer.

The officer would go out every night to hunt down bad guys and to try out for leading roles in movies. One day as the officer was getting ready go out for the night, but the old hound dog kept barking at something near the birdbath. The officer thought nothing of it. Seeing as the dog was so old it was going blind.

"Hey!" Shouted the officer. "Stop that barking I mean it! Or I'll throw you outside for the night"

The dog just kept on barking. And pawing at the door. The man got sick of it very quick. Getting his flashlight, he went outside, and shone the light at the birdbath. And he saw... a cowboy.

The cowboy said. "Well hey there little doggy. Whacha cute little thing like you doing here?"

The cowboy then looked up and saw that the dog had someone with him.

"Well who do we have here?" The cowboy asked. "Looks like one of them city folk. I hate me city folk"

"I'm not a "City folk" I'm an officer of the law! And what are you doing at my house?"

"Well I'm here the ghost of this house. And I've come to kill you." The cowboy started to smile.

"I bet you've wondered why you got such a good deal on this here house. It's cause every person that's ever lived here has died. And I hate me officers on the law. So…DIE!" The cowboy's smile got bigger. Showing teeth so yellow the matched the house.

The cowboy pulled out he's gun and with that three shots rang out in the cold night. Lying there by the cowboy's feet was the Prussian officer.

"That'll learn you, I hate me officers... I think I'll go to that high school dance down the street. Get me some punch."

The cowboy danced the night away. He even got to dance with Tommy, the hottest boy in school. All the girls hatted him for that. Cause Tommy is a great dancer. And a good kisser too.

* * *

The End

* * *

Author: -cries-

Azula: Oh stop crying, we all know you never cry!

Author: Yeah, I guess you're right… Whatever. Well thanks everyone who reviewed and liked my story! Don't forget to check out my next story. Avatar: The Last IHOP.

Zuko: She'll make sure you don't forget.

Author: Of course not. I'll remind them all after they review. –evil grin-

Ozai: You're insane.

Author: Thank you.

Iroh: I want some tea.

Ozai: READ!!

Zuko: AND!!

Azula: REVIEW!!

Iroh: OR NO COOKIES FOR YOU!!


End file.
